12.14.12 on Tragedy

Today was a weird day for me from the start.
Dylan slept very little last night (he's been sLowly getting over his first cold, poor little guy) which of course means I slept very little last night, so I was already groggy when I took him to play in his nursery this morning. I was sitting on a chair looking up his doctor's number when he crawled over to my feet, sat up and began entertaining himself with his toys. Suddenly, I looked down and realized he was choking. I screamed and panicked. His dad came rushing in and inserted his finger and dis-logged what appeared to be the inside stuffing of a stuffed animal. I still am not sure where it came from or how it got into his room, let alone his throat. When he was o.k. and breathing normally I broke down and cried. I held him, shaking, realizing how fragile life is and how now, as a parent, how fragile I am.
If anything were to happen to him... I can't bear the thought.

Products and Things I Discovered/Rediscovered by becoming a Mother...

1. Homeopathy

I can't imagine having children and not using homeopathy. 

For about ten years now, I have had a strong interest in natural medicine, organic food, and preventative health care. I've studied Eastern medicine, lived in Asia and have found that you can cure most anything with herbs and diet. However, I had never really had any experience with homeopathy. My introduction to it came really by chance.

My mom was childhood friends with a renowned homeopath and midwife (amongst other notable things) and after the birth of my son she urged me to get in contact with her. When I learned that'll this woman, Paula, was becoming a grandmother I offered to give her some of Dylan's outgrown toys and clothes so my mother gave her my number to contact me.

One day Dylan was acting like he wasn't feeling well. He was cranky and very clingy. He only wanted to be held and had little interest in his toys or food. This was very out of character. I wasn't sure if he was teething or getting sick. The next day he had a bit of a fever and I was getting worried, I gave him a cool bath and soothed him and was considering taking him to the doctor but decided to wait. On the third day he broke out in a rash all over his body,

I was horrified. 

I was looking up his doctor's number when Paula called me. We talked for a moment about the

toys and such and then I asked for her advice about Dylan. She asked me a series of questions about his symptoms, all of which were very on point. "Is he clingy?" "Yes." "Does he have a fever?" "Yes." etc. She told me to go to the local health food store, in my case Sprouts, and get the remedy, Pulsatilla and to give him three pellets. Sprouts was very nearby and I figured that I had nothing to lose. 

While I was in Sprouts I showed the people in the body section his rash and was also looking for other things that might work, I didn't yet know the power of homeopathy. While I was in line, paying for the things I purchased, I gave Dylan the pellets. I put him in the car and drove home. When I came back home Dylan's rash was gone. 

Gone.

Not better, but gone... and he was back to his old self. When I set him down, instead of clinging to me and crying (like he had been doing for the last three days) he bolted straight for his toys and started playing. I couldn't believe it, I wanted to share it with the world!

Since then I have used homeopathy at any sign of trouble with amazing results.

To be fair, homeopathy is a pretty controversial form of treatment. I can only speak from personal experience and tell you that for us it has been truly amazing. If you would like to learn more, I recommend this link: Homeopathy: Everything You've Ever Wanted To Know

2. Bone Broth Soup

This meal is medicine for the post delivery mama and the whole family. It's so good for you that I get intimidated at the thought of having to type all of the benefits. This link goes into detail and includes a recipe: Authentic Parenting

3. Baby Powder

Smooth as a baby's behind does not just have to apply to your baby's behind, know what I mean....

Beauty & the Baby

This whole baby making business has been great for my figure.

 I know what you are thinking, "f%^ yoU~!" ... I get it, but I also think there might be some reasons for this and if that is a concern for you or someone you know there are some things you could try...

1. Breastfeed.... seriously, every time you breastfeed it's like a serious gym sesh... and you don't even have to get up. Plus, it is bonding and provides essential nutrients and ... (here just read this)

2. Don't panic it's Organic...  I eat primarily organic whole foods. I don't diet or count calories, I just read ingredients and if it has a bunch of shit in it that I can't pronounce, I don't eat it. Oh and I avoid GMO's .. I don't think intrinsic pesticides can possibly be good not to mention all the other questionable nasties & environmental hazards. If and when I do eat meat or dairy, I make sure that there are no added hormones, or antibiotics, and that the animals are grass fed and cage free. Just because I have an appetite doesn't mean I don't have a heart... or a brain. P.S. I know when I eat out that this all goes out the window and I'm okay with that because the key to health & happiness, in my opinion, is moderation and stress reduction.

3. I did a natural birth. It wasn't easy and if I was in the hospital I'm sure they would of tried to cut me open but I avoided all of that by giving birth at a birth center. I think the universe rewarded me for my efforts and helped me bounce back quickly. Plus, birth in and of itself is incredibly detoxifying and it is natural for your body to cleanse itself and prepare you for the task of motherhood. Drugs can interfere with this natural process and slow your healing process.

4. I wake up with my baby and play with him and relish in the understanding that these moments, however exhausting, are truly precious and short lived. Plus, carrying him around is great for toning my arms & the superman leg presses are great for those thighs (my personal problem areas).

5. I suffered from excessive blood loss and became anemic. (Wait, what?!) I realize this isn't a positive but I wanted to mention it in case you or someone you know is suffering from the same thing. What saved me was Bone Broth Soup: Bone Broth Mother F^&*(n Soup! Seriously and while you're at it

Apparently, almost every other culture offers some sort of healing tonic or ancient soup for women post delivery... except here in the U.S. *Shaking my head*

Bone broth contains cartilage, which strengthens bones and joints. Marrow, which helps with blood cell production. Glycine & Proline, which help with wound healing, detoxification of the liver, and plasma production. And, essential minerals such as calcium, phosphorus, and magnesium that help with nerve transmission, muscle contraction, tissue repair, proper clotting, and gland function, to name a few.  (Sorry my beautiful vegan friends but it's true)
Did I mention that it is also delicious and good for the whole family? (think chicken noodle soup) For me drinking this stuff  was like finding a well at the end of a brutal desert hike. If you or someone you know has just given birth... share the knowledge and share the love and rejoice.

Blessings
       *

All Apologies

Dear Gracious Reader,

Thank you for your kind return. I'm sorry that I haven't written anything in the last couple of months. I imagine you there, perched over your computer, feverishly logging on hoping to see a new blog. I imagine the inevitable tears of disappointment that fall when you see I haven't posted anything. I imagine you checking in every few days like a school child waiting by the mailbox. I also imagine forests filled with elves and talking trees and friendly fairies and goddess mothers... in other words, I have a very active imagination.

The reason for my extreme delay has been the same as my inspiration for this blog: my little guy Dylan. Even as I write this he is stalking closer to my computer like some brain thirsty zombie.. "must touch keys, must distract mom," is what I imagine is echoing in his adorable head. You see, my sweet little immobile baby has blossomed into a full blown toddler and though he hasn't yet taken his first step out on his own yet, if he has something to lean on he can move with incredible speed. Nothing on the parameter is safe.

Fun Fact

Every time Dylan goes down for a nap my phone rings and/or the dogs come near the bedroom window and start barking for no apparent reason. Every time. Every single time. Without fail.

It must be a cosmic joke.

Thoughts on Fear & Halloween

I use to wonder if fear was inherent or learned. Halloween gave me some insight on this matter. 

I like apparently everyone else in the country, made the awful mistake of going to Party City the day before Halloween. You see, I was having a little party the next day and I needed to get just a couple more things. I took Dylan, of course (my wingman) and we headed out. Usually Dylan loves shopping... he seems fascinated with people, he loves the inevitable attention he receives and, like his mama, he enjoys exploring anyplace he hasn't been before. Party City the day before Halloween, I later found out, would be the exception. Granted, I went kinda later into the evening (Dylan has a smaller threshold when nearing bedtime) but he started out just fine. When we walked into the store the lines and the sheer number of the people was a little overwhelming but again so far, so good. As we made our way down the chaotic iles more and more creepy Halloween items began to appear. Dylan looked on with intrigued concern and began to wince and grimace a little bit. I comforted him and tried to brief him on this pretty weird holiday but he seemed uneasy. When we made our way to the last ile I unknowingly placed his stroller infront of the scary mask section while I hastily looked over the butterfly and angel wings. The next thing that happened confirmed my belief that some fears are inherent. Dylan let out this earth-shattering scream/cry, the likes of which I have never heard from him before or since. I looked down to see what happened and saw that he was looking at the creepy masks (Jason masks, zombie masks, devil masks etc... all of which were indeed horrifying) I had to quickly rush him to the kids party section where he was relieved to see the smiling faces of Elmo and other super heros. Luckily he recovered quickly and was smiling again in line as some young girl cooed over him. Later that evening while I was getting ready for the party I put on my black wig and dark eyelashes. Dylan would look at me and then hide his face, the way he does while looking at strangers. He seemed creeped out again and didn't like it. Moments later he crawled over to the edge of the bed and hung upside down with a giant smile on his face, which is ironically the scariest thing I have ever seen.

Moral of the story: some fears seem inherent... like terrifying murderous masks 

and others, like heights, appear to be learnt.  

My Star Was Born

 Maiden to Mother... How This Feels 

The question I get asked most is, "How does it feel to be a mom?" I always reply, "Euphoric and exhausting" but I thought I should elaborate. Now I know there might be someone reading out there with five kids of various ages thinking, "Bitch, please." I know I'm only 7 months in but in reality just as soon as that seed is planted the shift begins to happen.

I remember how I felt the next morning after his birth, I was taking a shower, cleaning off all the blood and goo... after such a long labor and all the pains and concerns of pregnancy, he was finally here. I remember feeling transformed, like I had just become younger. My skin felt new again. I was sleep deprived, drained, invigorated and refreshed all at the same time. Only later did I learn that the birthing process, if done vaginally, actually purges your body of toxins and cleanses you from the inside out.

I feel that becoming a parent offers an amazing opportunity to really be the best person you can be. It pushes you to your limits emotionally and physically but the reward, this insane unconditional life-changing love, is the greatest gift imaginable.

We are programmed to love in this way, it is natural and I'm certain that it is shared by every species on the planet. I feel so deeply saddened when I see people ignore their instincts to love. It such a loss, not just for the child but for the parents as well, it is like slapping life in the face. Life is here offering this amazing gift and so often I see people suppressing their natural instincts, ignoring what is pure and true in search for what is plastic and artificial. But back to the point...

How this feels... right now it is an all consuming, life-altering thing. I look at him and my heart expands. Our house has become like a precious moments cartoon and I feel like I understand musicals and cartoons and everything I loved as a child again. It is very pure. I feel so fortunate because I get to be a full time mama. Soon I will go back to work and he will go to school and life will shift again but right now I'm all in, head first, and head over heels. I know intuitively that what is happening now is shaping his subconscious. My main concern is that he is healthy and happy and feels secure and cared for.

In all honesty, there are some luxuries in life that I know I won't get to do for a long time and I don't know if I really appreciated them renough. If you are reading this and are not yet a parent I want you to remember this... the next time you decide to go somewhere and then simply get in your car/ hop on your bike and roll ... wOw, savor that! Taste the freedom, let it linger on your lips and rush through your bones.  For me, it's not that simple, there is the diaper bag, the changing (did he go to the bathroom yet, is he going to poo when we are out?) the timing (is it fussy time?) the car seat, the location (are kids allowed/welcomed) etc. As he is getting older it is getting easier but those first few months are like boot camp.

The next time you wake up half naked on some beach somewhere with foggy memories of the night before racing through your mind with some attractive stranger rubbing their eyes next to you, count your blessings, that is over for me. If this has never happened to you, don't have kids yet. In fact, my advice is to do everything you ever wanted to do or have been too afraid to do before you have kids. Go travel the world, quit your boring desk job, pursue your dreams, experiment with drugs... do it now before you have the weight of a dependent on your shoulders because good parenting requires a certain amount of selflessness that comes from life experience and sowing those wild oats.

Luckily for me I felt like I have had the luxury to be wild and carefree and I'm realizing now that the mistakes I've made are serving a very powerful purpose of making me a better parent today. When you do decide to be a parent I recommend that you give it your all. Play with your baby, try to see things through their eyes, everything is new and fascinating. Become curious again, remember they cry to communicate and it can be frustrating to see something so cool and not be able to walk over and get it or to have teeth cutting through your gums. Be compassionate, be patient, and above all follow your natural instinct and Love Love Love. When you let the love wash over you it can heal everything!

As I write I feel like these things always wrap up like the ending to a Jerry Springer episode. I don't mean to get all 'advicy' (if that's a word) but the lessons just come clear to me with the reflection of writing. Thanks for reading!